In complete honesty, my initial reaction to finding out the gender was not overwhelming excitement. Obviously any baby is a blessing. And a healthy one is a double blessing! But deep down I think many of us do have a preference for gender.
In my mind, I was imagining 2 boys and 2 girls. How perfect is that? Two big brothers to watch over and protect their two little sisters. A same-gender playmate for each child. 2 boys in one bedroom, 2 girls in the other. I always told Adam that I'd be okay with having a 4th child if it meant Jenna could have a sister.
Personally, I don't feel very equipped to be a boy Mom. I almost feel like asking God why he is giving me all these boys, when I just feel so much more knowledgeable about girls. I don't love running around outside throwing a ball. I'd rather bake something in the kitchen with my kids. I don't love racing cars and making engine sounds. I'd rather read a book to my kids. Now please, hear me out. I'm not trying to stereotype boys vs girls. But in MY experience, MY boys would rather play in the mud than make daisy chains. They would rather wrestle until someone is bleeding, than pretend to have a tea party. In MY experience, for MY personality, little boys are a lot to handle! Ever heard the definition of boys?? "Noise with dirt on it" Yep, that's MY experience with boys.
Now please don't read this like I don't love raising my boys and being a boy Mom. I love my 2 boys with my entire heart and soul. They are teaching me so much. They are pushing me out of my comfort zone. I love thinking about the men they will grow up to be some day. I love thinking that I am preparing them to be somebody's husband. BUT I also absolutely love raising a daughter. And I don't feel like I've had my quota of girl yet. I was really wishing for a little bit more girl in my life.
So I am choosing to change my frame of mind. I am putting all girl thoughts out of my head and focusing on boy. Boys are actually pretty awesome! They don't scream when they get messy. (Jenna I'm looking at you). Picking out their outfits is a cinch. Boys grow up to be big strong men who can help their Dad with projects. I've heard that difficult little boys will often grow up to be really amazing drama-free teenagers. Having another boy means we don't have to buy much boy stuff. Little boys pick flowers for their Mommy. (Lucas!) Boys love eating their Mom's food. (Right? Someday?) Boys love their Mommy. Jenna is going to have 3 brothers to watch over her and protect her. If anything, being surrounded by brothers is going to make her seem even more special in our family.
I am choosing to trust God that this little boy is the perfect addition to our family. For God's ways are always the best, and my motives for wanting a girl only come from my own selfish desires. "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6. God knows that we need another little boy. He has known about this baby boy for a long time, and He created this boy for a very special purpose. "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." Psalm 139:13