Warning: The following contains excessive whining and complaining. Try not to roll your eyes at the following blog post.
Ryan rarely naps. And I'm not exaggerating when I say this. He really does not nap. But I can live with that. I am beginning to accept the fact that he will never be the baby who takes regular hour-long naps in his crib.
But what is driving me crazy is the way he acts at night. Putting him to sleep at night takes me an average of 1-2 hours. It does not matter what time I start his bedtime routine. It always takes a long time. I nurse him to sleep because it is the only way he will fall asleep. Trust me, I have tried everything else. I would be okay with putting in the effort of 1-2 hours if I knew it would result in Ryan sleeping through the night. But he often wakes up just 15 minutes after falling asleep. Or if I move him too soon after falling asleep. Or if I breathe too loudly. I then spend 30 minutes nursing him back to sleep. He often wakes up 5 minutes later.
At this point in the evening I begin to feel hopeless. Why am I spending so much time and effort only to have Ryan immediately wake up after being put down, time after time? Sometimes I cry with Ryan. Sometimes I give up. Sometimes I pray. Sometimes I honestly feel like screaming because I am so incredibly frustrated. And I'm all alone in this because I am the only person capable of getting Ryan to sleep.
I'm not writing this to get pity or even advice. Because I'm pretty sure that if you suggest something I've already tried it. I have read The No-Cry Sleep Solution twice, and it does offer some good ideas. But I think I have 2 things working against me. a) I am not consistent enough. Most nights I eventually give up and nurse Ryan to sleep in bed next to me, and then nurse him back to sleep in bed when he wakes up every 1-2 hours throughout the night. b) Ryan is extremely attached to me, probably more so than the typical 6-month old is to their mom. He wants to be next to me all the time.
So what am I supposed to do? Just continue to spend the multiple hours every evening, fighting to get Ryan to fall and stay asleep? This means I have zero time to myself or to spend with Adam. I never get to just sit on the couch with my husband anymore. I often don't even get a chance to take off my makeup at night.
I really thought this whole sleeping thing would be easier by now. But I love the little guy and I will do whatever it takes to get him down to sleep at night. But why can't it be easier?? I hope this experience teaches me the value of patience. Just in case the next baby is like Ryan.
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Oh Stephanie... I have SO been there. Reading your post was kind of like, well... kind of like reliving a nightmare. Of course having a baby is absolutely incredible and amazing and you love them so much... but it is SO hard when you are going through (lack of) sleep hell. Shea was the exact same way. It took us at least an hour if not several to get her to sleep, and then she would often wake up as soon as we tried to put her down, or within fifteen minutes of getting her to sleep. It was awful.
ReplyDeleteAnd honestly... I think some babies are just that way. It's not you! It sounds like you are trying everything. And with Shea, it seemed like there would be bad phases and then slightly less bad phases and it gradually got better. Now she sleeps ten hours straight at night, and I do not take that for granted! Is Ryan still on reflux meds? I think Shea had "silent" reflux but we never knew at the time since she was always in the 90th percentile and never spit up.
I don't really have much advice other than it will get better eventually. Can you try having Adam put him to bed? You need a break! Maybe you could nurse him and hand him over and then get out of the house for a bit?
Hang in there. You are doing a great job!
Hey chicky! I am soo sorry! I often think I'll never have another babes because I can't handle not sleeping! I know from my own son that when he doesn't take good naps during the day he doesn't sleep well at night.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I can suggest is to let your husband put him to bed, even if he cries. Me and my husband have a deal. I wake up with our son 6 days a week (I get Sundays to sleep). And every night my husband has Daddy time and puts our son to sleep.
Have you asked your pediatrician? And if they don't give you an answer you like ask for a second opinion.
Hang in there.
No easy answer, but have you tried letting him cry himself to sleep? I know it's hard, but the time he cries will get shorter & shorter. Or maybe Baby Einstein music? Background noise sometimes helps. Maybe it's just too quiet in the house. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHi Steph, I can't really complain about Nadine's naps. She is a good napper, but I am with you on the night sleeping. I put Nadine to bed at 7:30pm this evening. It's 10:30 right now and she already woke up FOUR times... crying! Hang in there, this too shall pass. I am crossing my fingers crossed for both of us.
ReplyDeleteYea, Ryan does have reflux. He spits up A LOT. The medicine doesn't do anything to help. Adam has tried to get him to sleep a few times, but we have found that the absolutely only thing that works is breastfeeding. And, well, Adam isn't too skilled in that area.
ReplyDeleteThe pediatrician suggested we let him cry, comfort, let him cry a little longer, comfort, etc. I tried the cry it out method but Ryan isn't the type of baby that will cry and then wear himself out and fall asleep. He just works himself up more and more and then starts coughing and choking and then screaming and then he turns red and starts sweating....at that point I just couldn't take it anymore.
I do think some sort of white noise may help. I haven't found a good method for this though, other than a fan. And now it's too cold for that.