The last time I felt pretty was probably sometime in the early stages of my pregnancy. Ever since Ryan was born I have felt ugly. It's not that my looks have changed that much, but in order to feel somewhat attractive, I need to be able to spend a few minutes each day making myself "pretty". These days I just feel sloppy, saggy and plain.
Despite the fact that I have lost my 35 pregnancy lbs plus another 15, most of my clothes do not fit. My shirts are mostly too tight, thanks to *ahem* the fact that I'm breastfeeding. Therefore I am still wearing mostly maternity t-shirts. And the pants I wore pre-pregnancy are all too loose. So I walk around all day with my pants about to fall off. I don't want to buy new clothes until I'm sure my weight has stabalized. And I don't own a belt (is that weird?), so my pants sag like a 16-year-old boy's. It makes me feel really sloppy and uncomfortable.
I'm lucky to get a shower about every 2 days. When I am able to wash my hair, it's a luxury. My hair is thick and wavy and looks pretty awful if it is not dried and straightened. But who has time for that? By the time I get out of the shower Ryan is usually crying, so all I have time to do is run a comb through my wet hair and put it in a pony-tail. Ugly.
As I mentioned above, Ryan is crying by the end of my shower. By the time I get dressed he's screaming. So putting on makeup is another one of those luxuries that I only get a chance to do maybe 2-3 days out of the week. Without my makeup I feel ugly and plain.
Add to this the fact that I walk around most days with spit-up all over me. I've got dark circles under my eyes from a serious lack of sleep. And brushing my teeth is an after-thought at the end of the day.
Nobody said being a mom was glamorous. I don't need glamour. Maybe just one article of clothing that fits and a haircut?