Monday, March 8, 2010

Fear and Excitement

Did you know my baby is due in just 7 weeks? As my due date approaches many worries and fears have been running through my head. But I am also really really excited to meet my son. I can't help but feel my life is about to dramatically change......


What will labor be like? I wish I had an idea ahead of time what this will be like. I can plan and prepare all I want but ultimately labor is unpredictable. I could end up being in labor for 1,000 hours and then have a c-section. I need to mentally prepare myself for things not going according to plan. (My plan being: no inducing and waiting as long as possible for the epidural). I just hate not knowing.

Will I experience post-partum depression? This one worries me because I've heard such horrible stories. I know it will be an emotional time after the baby is born due to all the crazy hormones pumping through my body. I just pray that it doesn't turn into depression and take away from the joy of having a new baby.

How will Adam and I deal with the lack of sleep? Anyone who knows Adam knows that he loves to sleep. As in, he really needs a full 8 hours to function well during the day. I can get by on less, as long as it is uninterrupted sleep. Well that's all about to change! I worry that we'll both be so dead tired during the first few months that we'll turn into cranky mean people who barely have time to talk to each other.

Will I ever have time to cook? This one might not sound important enough to worry about. But I LOVE to cook. I look forward to making dinner every day. For me it is a relaxing time when I get to use the creative side of my brain. I'm afraid that with a baby I will no longer have the time to cook, and this makes me sad.


Who will he look/act like? I am so excited to not only see what our little baby looks like, but also to learn all about his personality! Will he be reserved and a bit shy like me? Will he be laid-back and more outgoing like Adam? Or maybe the perfect combination of the two? I can't wait to find out!

What kind of Dad will Adam be? This one really makes me smile. I can't wait to see Adam interact with his son. I think it will be really special for me to see them together. The other day Adam told me he'd like to buy our son his first car (one that needs work) when he's still young, and then work together to fix it up so that it's ready to drive by the time he turns 16. Awwww! Kind of reminds me of Time the Tool Man Taylor. Home Improvement, anyone?

What will it be like to love someone that much? I can't wait to experience that deep unconditional love that a parent has for their child. To be honest I can't really fathom it right now. To love them so much that you would give up your life. To care so much about your child's well-being that you would sacrifice anything in order for them to be happy and healthy. Maybe being a parent gives us a small glimpse into what God feels like towards us. I can't wait to experience that kind of love.


  1. Your comments brought tears to my eyes and blessings to my heart. You are such a deep thoughtful young woman. You will be wonderful parents!!! And have no fear, with Jesus by your sides you will do just fine!!! Praying for you daily,
    Aunt Susan

  2. You almost made me cry too! That is one lucky baby, that's all I have to say.

  3. I can't wait...he's going to be so beautiful.