Love and Logic

Life with these three crazy kids can get a little, well, crazy. It seems like every day new behavioral issues pop up, and I am constantly nagging, threatening, disciplining, etc. When I heard about a Love and Logic workshop being offered through our school district, I jumped at the chance to join.

Love and Logic is all about teaching your children through natural consequences, along with a strong dose of love and empathy. Once they get out in to the real world, they will learn from their bad choices, and the natural consequences that come as a result of those choices. I'd rather they learn those lessons now, when the consequences are not so serious. I am 4 weeks in to the course and so far I am learning a lot. I decided to begin tackling one problem area with Ryan this week.....the mornings.

Our mornings go something like this: Ryan wakes up grumpy. I have to remind him a million times to eat his breakfast and get dressed, or we will be late to school. I am nagging and threatening and using my mean Mommy voice. I end up doing almost everything for him, including even helping him get his clothes on. By the time we rush out the door we are running late and Ryan complains the whole way to school that I am going too fast. Getting up earlier doesn't seem to help. I want to start teaching Ryan more responsibility, and I figured the best way to do that is through natural consequences.

Let's take this morning for example. Ryan came downstairs with his pants and shirt (a big step for him! usually I have to pick out his clothes). But he forgot socks. I kindly asked him to go back upstairs for his socks. He refused and started whining about being too tired to walk up the stairs. I was too busy fixing everyone breakfast, so I told him I could not get the socks for him. After asking him 1 more time, I told him he would have to just go to school with no socks. And he did. And halfway to school he was complaining about his feet being uncomfortable.

This morning I also put a little treat from Valentine's Day in Ryan's lunch. He was really excited about it. After he ate breakfast he started playing. I told him to go brush his teeth. He kept saying " in a minute, in a minute". So I finally said "Only boys who brush their teeth and take care of them get to eat treats". I said this twice and he ignored me, so the treat got removed from his lunch.

Last month Ryan told me one morning he was too sick to go to school. After calling the school and telling them he was sick, I suddenly noticed he had miraculously recovered. Turns out he had been lying to me. So I made him get dressed and walked him down to the school office. I explained to the secretary that he had been mistaken about being sick, and he was then given a tardy and sent to class. He was pretty upset and embarrassed, but that type of thing hasn't happened again.

These are pretty simple examples, but I hope they are effective. Have you taken the Love and Logic course or read the book?