Too Fast

If you have a young child, you've probably received the advice of "Cherish these days, they go by so fast." Or perhaps you've heard other mothers fondly remembering their children's baby/toddler years and wishing they could relive them. Or others may have said they wished their baby could stay exactly as they are, and never grow up.

I've heard all these things. And to be honest, I've never really fully understood them until now. When Ryan was a baby all I wanted was for him to get older. I constantly looked ahead to the next stage. "When will it get easier?" I often found myself wondering. I couldn't wait for him to grow just a little bigger and reach the next developmental stage. Maybe this is how parents often feel with their first born. Every experience is new and whatever age is on the horizon seems like it will be just a little more fun or a little less demanding. I never really found myself hoping that Ryan would stay at a certain age. Perhaps I was too busy looking ahead to fully appreciate the present.

But now that I have a second child, it is suddenly very real to me just how fast they grow up. When I compare Lucas to Ryan, I see the vast differences between their ages. In the blink of an eye, Ryan has gone from a screaming newborn to this, this.....person. This person who has full conversations with me. This person who has a sense of humor. Who wants to dress (or undress) himself. Who has an opinion about every little thing.

Ryan came up to me after dinner the other night with a really sneaky look on his face. I knew he had something he wanted to tell me, except he didn't know how to say it. He kept fiddling around with his pockets. Finally he reached into his pocket and giggled as he pulled out a handful of change. "See?" he said to me with obvious delight. He was so proud and excited to show me that he had stolen money out of his Daddy's truck earlier and hadn't gotten caught.

Seriously? When did my first born turn into such a big kid?

And it's not just his personality. When I look at pictures of Ryan from literally 3 months ago, I am shocked by how much he has changed. His face has thinned out and his toddler chub is gone. (Doesn't help that he nearly starves himself on a daily basis these days). Most traces of his toddlerhood are gone. And it makes me sad. It makes me want to hit the "pause" button on his baby brother Lucas and keep him exactly where he's at right now, because I know how quickly he is going to change. I finally understand what everyone has been saying all along. It really does go by much too fast.