This is going to be one of those posts where I'm just keepin it real with this whole motherhood thing. Most days by around 7pm I am DONE. Like stick a fork in me, I'm past the point of overcooked. I'm burnt to a crisp. It's not so much a physical tiredness, but more of a mental and emotional one.
I don't remember feeling this way just a month or two ago. But lately I'm running out of patience a lot quicker with my boys. I'm yearning for a moment to just be by myself during the day. To not have someone needing me for something. To not have someone climbing on me, biting me, licking me, jumping on me, pulling my hair. Lately my boys seem more like energetic puppy dogs than little boys.
I think that because I am an introvert, I need time to myself each day to recharge and get my thoughts together. Because I don't get this, I'm left feeling drained and empty by bedtime. Once dinner is done I just want the boys to go to bed. I want to sit by myself for a minute and just think and not have someone touching me and needing me and demanding my constant attention.
Maybe this all sounds selfish, but it's honestly how I've been feeling lately. Of course I love the boys' hugs and kisses. I love playing and rough-housing with them and being their provider for all things. It's good to feel needed. But sometimes I just want to be needed a little less. I know that motherhood is about giving of yourself and taking care of others and putting your own needs aside most of the time. But it sure can be emotionally draining.