Thursday, July 31, 2014

Screaming and Fighting

If someone were to walk by our house when the windows were open, they would probably hear a lot of screaming and fighting. I wish I could say our house is calm and quiet most of the time, but that's just not the case.

Ryan and Lucas seem to be in this perfect storm of the right ages and personalities to fight all the time. They can be very sweet towards each other, especially when we are out in public and they are a little more timid about showing their true feelings.
But when we are home and they are playing together with no other distractions, things get pretty bad.
The fighting has really escalated over the past few months. It has gotten to the point where I cannot leave them alone longer than a minute or two before a fight will break out. For example, this is what happens when I go into my room to get dressed in the morning: I brush my teeth and hear screaming. Go out and break up a fight. Go back to my room to get dressed. I am half dressed when I hear a thud. One boy has knocked the other off of furniture and hurt him. I make sure one is okay and discipline the other, then run back to finish getting dressed. I'm tying my shoes when the boys run into the room, screaming and fighting over a toy they both want. I take it away which results in more screaming and more timeouts. Things may calm down for a little while until they are left alone again, when more screaming and fighting starts. I let them play in the backyard for some fresh air, and also so that I can get some dishes done. But they are only outside for a minute before they get in a tug-of-war over the tricycle. One boy gets shoved off the tricycle onto the patio and once again the screaming starts.
I'm really not exaggerating here. For example, I just broke up 3 fights while typing that last paragraph. Fighting will usually include a lot of screaming, shoving, hitting and scratching. I am trying my absolute best to keep an eye on them to prevent them from hurting each other, but they still end up with a lot of scratches by the end of the day. I also feel like I am doing a really good job of consistently disciplining them. I can't ignore their aggressive behavior or their constant screaming. So discipline is happening constantly around here. But it often feels like by the end of the day, all I have done is referee and discipline. It feels like I don't get the opportunity to create fun, calm, sweet memories with them because I am so exhausted from breaking up all the fights.

This level of unhappiness between my boys has honestly taken me off guard. I knew having two boys close together in age would most certainly result in fighting, but I didn't expect it to be this constant at such a young age. I would love to think it will get better as they mature, but many friends have warned me it will only get worse!
And that's my honest post about what I've been struggling with lately.

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