On Tuesday I took Lucas to the optometrist. A year ago he failed his vision test during his annual well-check at Kaiser. He was referred to an optometrist, who said he had an astigmatism and some vision issues in both eyes. I am happy to report that while he still has less than perfect vision this year, he isn't quite needing glasses yet.
Wednesday morning I was up bright an early for a brain MRI. Ugh I was really dreading this. Or more accurately, dreading the time spent waiting for results. Let me back up a little. Last year I began experiencing sharp shooting pains on the right side of my head. The only way I can describe it is like a short painful brain zap. Then at the end of 2019/early 2020 I experienced some blocked vision in my right eye. There was a dark gray patch in my vision where I couldn't see. It lasted part of the day and happened again the next. Over the next couple months I had a few eye test done but everything as fine. Around that same time my same eye began feeling very uncomfortable whenever wearing contacts. So I began wearing my glasses full time. During the months of June and July my eye pretty much ached constantly. I experienced many headaches behind that eye....even more so than I usually get. And my eye was twitching constantly. Also back in April/May I began to notice my left arm and hand was feeling weak. My fingers didn't have their normal fine motor control. My shoulder down to my fingers just felt tired and weak most days. And now in August I'm still dealing with this. Add all of this up, throw in a few google searches, and I diagnosed myself with a brain tumor. Yes, I have health anxiety. But I also like to think I'm pretty rational and logical and yes maybe just slightly overly-aware of my health. So my frustrated doctor ordered a brain MRI.
I'm not a claustrophobic person, so I wasn't too worried. But when they slid me into the MRI tube and locked the cage down over my face, my heart started beating faster. Then when the VERY loud sounds began, I did begin to panic. I've always been frightened of loud noises, and I could feel my breathing get very irregular and I was thisclose to pressing the panic button. But I didn't. I began reciting 2 Timothy 1:7 in my head. "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind". I wasn't allowed to move, so deep breathing was out of the question. I found myself breathing very shallowly and quickly, which didn't help at all. I had to really force myself to breathe more slowly and focus on something else. (So thankful they let me take off my mask during the MRI!) I find strange comfort in numbers, so I started counting by 3's as far as I could go, and then backwards back to zero. It was a good distraction for my brain. The MRI only lasted 25 minutes but that was plenty long.
Praise God.....I got the call yesterday that my brain is normal!! (Yes Adam, I'm normal). It doesn't explain my symptoms, but it does explain what is NOT causing them. Whew....what a blessing and such a weight of worry lifted off my shoulders. When I have something worrying me, particularly about health, it can feel like such a dark cloud hanging over me.
Finally, Lucas and I spent the morning at the dentist today. He had a cleaning and sealants put in. Then I scheduled Ryan's appointment to put on his braces. Yep, he has all of his adult teeth, including 12-year old molars. He definitely needs braces, so we are opting to do it sooner rather than later. I think. If any of you have experience with this I'd love to hear it.
Praising God for a good week of check-ups, and for the knowledge the God is good ALL the time.
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