You Know You're a Parent When....

You brush with Peppa Pig Toothpaste and don't think twice.

You routinely find 30 very unflattering kid selfies on your phone.

You've been so hungry that the crusts from your toddler's PB sandwich taste delicious.

 You go to bed dreaming about your morning coffee.

 You often say things like "Take your hands out of your pants" or "Don't lick the windows".

You get 10 minutes of silence and attempt to do 100 things at once.

Your weekends are full of sports games, birthday parties, and convincing little people to do chores.

You feel like your heart is walking around outside your body.